My Imperfect Exchange

My exchange is imperfect.Here you go,i say it.Something most of exchange students won’t like to hear nor admit.I’ve been living here in Argentina for nearly 8 months now and my life here is not even near ‘perfect’.But you know what? There is no rule or no nothing for it to be this ‘perfect’ year,where i never even look back,or never even shred a single tear and just go to parties and be this 'wanderlust party animal or whatever'.Making everybody else jealous back at home.No rules for me to be living this so what ‘perfect’ year.

No my friends,i’m not having perfect exchange year and i believe i’m not alone in this case,sure,there might have been or are some exceptions where the whole year goes smooth as a baby’s bottom.Although very few,there might have been.If you’re reading this and you’re an exchange-student-to-be or anyone in general,i’m not writing these words to scare you from having one nor i’m complaining.In this very moment i’m expressing my thoughts and emotions fully.

Let's just admit.Exchange is hard,it’s challenging,it's a rocky road.Well of course moving your ass from the place you lived for 17 years and going to this place won’t be easy,that’s expected i guess.But you’ll be surprised to see the stuff that will actually challenge you,won’t be those you’re actually expecting.This year is far beyond imperfect,it’s full of mistakes and embarrassments.It’s full of those ‘this doesn’t feel right’ moments and several discomforts.

This year will tear you,rip you to pieces and it’s no one else’s but your job to put those pieces back together.Sometimes you’ll be on the cloud 9,smiling as your cheeks start to hurt and the next moment you’ll find yourself with some doubts in your head because of everything.Your life here being contemporary,these people being contemporary,this place being contemporary... ‘is this real? does this people actually care about me? what am i actually doing here?’ 

I made a fool of myself maybe 1000 times,saying a wrong word,doing the wrong thing,simply being wrong.I wore a skirt when everyone wore a pant or wore the rainbow when everyone painted black.I shouted when everyone was silent and kept silent when everyone was screaming.

I cried sometimes from happiness,sometimes from sadness.I actually had a moment where i wanted to go home and always thought those exchange students who always go ‘Wanna stay here foreverrrrrr,never gonna go back’ are kinda fake. Having this imperfect point in your exchange,a home to think about and all those people you care that are waiting for you are one of the major parts that make your exchange year beautiful.You understanding their value and importance in your life is beautiful.You missing them and maybe crying because of it,is even more beautiful than words can express.

So here they are,some stuff that makes my exchange imperfect.Oh and i guarantee you there are many more.

But  all these imperfections are the reason why you grow

these imperfections help you shape who you are

they make you realize you abilities and capacities 

these imperfections help you to get to know and discover yourself

and take you a step close to being complete.

These imperfections are what actually matter and what makes this year so precious.And i’d like to finish this by saying i’m very proud of this imperfect life in argentina i created.You know what! Maybe it’s perfect for not being perfect.Maybe.We’ll never know i guess.

With love and sincerity,to whomever reading,

Ilayda